Telling someone they have to drastically alter their *non work life* to accommodate someone that doesnt like a smellhell, even someone with allergies or migrainesisnt cool. Im sorry, no. I mean I get the idea but thats a heck of a food to ruin. This gesture communicates the non-verbal message, "I am virile, powerful and dominant". Yep. Although such handbooks often outline appropriate and inappropriate behavior, it's common knowledge that a bodily function such as loud burping is inappropriate. (Again, I am not wearing ANY perfume, my deodorant is unscented, I shower every morning and my body wash is lightly lemon scented and doesnt stick around.) To me it really just sounds like coworker is trying to make something out of that and mocking OP with the old smelly hippie stereotype. I also dislike the smell of lavender altogether. Im incredibly sensitive to both man-made and natural fragrances. I have had reactions to certain smells, even one flavor of herbal tea, that makes me sneeze and sneeze. Guess what? If not, I need you to stop commenting about something that I cant do anything about. (Thanks a lot, weather.). Yeah, totally, for mention of patchouli above I think you can refer to the Zendaya Giuliana Rancic dreadlocks saga of 2015 for an example on how this can play out. Its not so bad, really, to catch a whiff here or there, but a lot of patchouli is in the form of oil, which makes it even more concentrated and in your face. For real I understand if people *like* the smell of Febreeze, but seriously, its not some magical odor-disapperating powder, so dont act like its automatically preferable to any other strong scent. Ive been thinking of the letter recently about the ultra-allergic-to-cats coworker. I was just wondering how common it is to possibly swallow a About 4 weeks ago, I developed symptoms that resembled bronchitis or some form of viral infection. And that's because your coworker might not even know that she likes you yet. How To Deal With A Coworker That's Interested In You I finally had to write up one worker who insisted on spraying perfume in the office. Yes, this is what Im finding a little boggling about a lot of the comments talking about scents at home, in mattresses, sheets, etc. This should prevent any other smells from entering her nose. I also let them know Im ever so grateful they are taking my health concerns seriously. I would still never buy it or order it in a bar, however. It would suck for OP if it is her entire wardrobe and she just cant smell it. I am only saying this in the hopes that getting to the bottom of the issue will make it easier to figure out a solution. We cannot lock ourselves in a room and stay there because we have to work, get groceries, and do all the things the rest of us have to do. I eventually left for another job and Im told she left right after. I feel like Id want to get to the root of the problem. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Ive occasionally used new products at home or at work that were stronger than I anticipated. Because burping and sniffing are minor offenses, the employee will likely receive a minor form of discipline, such as verbal warning. Plus, it may turn out that many of OPs scent-sensitive strategies are unnecessary, and that they can indeed wear some scented products. . I would make sure your boss is aware of all the changes youve made and then refer Jane to HR every time she says something. I dont necessarily think anyone should totally change the soap they use because as someone who is dramatically allergic/sensitive to smells, I really dont think commercial soaps smell THAT strongly. Im going to ask that we stop with those suggestions now and instead focus on how she should deal with the coworker, which I think will be more helpful to her. I ate a piece of pecan pie on a trip to Australia when I was 19 and then got food poisoning and was sick for days. But even if this is the case, the co-worker is not handling it in an appropriate way, and OP shouldnt have to put up with Mean Girls style bullying about it. And I dont know if the shirty pun was intentional or not, but I like it. I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. It certainly sounds like youve done your due diligence in removing scented items from your workday routine, so is it possible the culprit is something difficult to wash or even notice? Ive stopped wearing perfume, have switched to unscented deodorant, and I wash my clothes in unscented detergent. My wife gave up chewing gum around me years ago, before I realized I was the one with the problem. However the company could send an office-wide email advising folks be aware of strong scents causing issues. To be fair, the only thing Ive actually changed since she complained is not wearing the perfume. Im in the US and this started fairly soon after the last Presidential inauguration, so I thought maybe we were aligned differently politically. Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. But I agree, thats not what this thread should focus on. I think that it might be another coworker or it could be the scent from a product used to clean the office. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. You can have the honey-glazed salmon on a cedar plank. Either way, what your coworker is doing is not cool, and you have standing to talk to your manager if it continues. Usually, your best bet is to start your sentences with "I" or keep the focus on yourself -- it's less accusatory. On a sidewalk, on a windy day. We got fried chicken and rode the train home together . But whenever I smell patchouli, I think of my mom many years ago, and its comforting. It sounds like your coworker is a drama llama and shes in the wrong. Freshly applied perfume, sure, thats reasonable to ask people not to do. it. Also, if you were considering making exaggerated sniffing noises and jokes about patchouli, it might not be helpful. Youre right that at this point shes probably already tried most or all of these things it really does sound like the OP is being extremely accommodating! I have sniffels all the time. Is there a chance that it is lingering in your hair or clothes? ! I apologized for using my lotion and took it home. I dont like patchouli. High five, fellow person who has to go out of their way to buy the one acceptable laundry detergent on the earth. For some reason I have developed hay fever symptoms, runny nose, it Hi. and if tissues don't work for someone there are medications and netty pots and SO MANY alternatives to sniffling forever and ever. I dont think she ever wore patchouli, so maybe the scarf picked up the smell from the artist or the store where she bought it. It is amazing how difficult it can be to shake that incensey smell if you commonly use incense or oils or other such products at home. Hey, thanks for reporting in, and it sounds like things are better! They do have a smelllol. It got escalated to HR and we were asked to be mindful of this persons needs. Oh, Jager I cant be near it. Where a light scented spray of perfume or body mist or even deodorant will fade away throughout the day, patchouli oil is there forever. I have to use unscented shampoo due to a skin allergy. You've been told. :) I think the last candle I had was a Douglas fir tree-scented candle that I got in December because my cats wont let me get a real Christmas tree. And a lot of it just depends on if it is normal to you. Oh, thats interesting! I call them vanilla napalm (since every time Ive had a migraine form at work, Ive smelled cloyingly awful (probably fake) sweet vanilla, even if its supposedly a floral scent) So far, my management or OHSA rep has handled the dirty work of getting those removed. You see the salesmen on the metro who wear little vials of oil on these cross-body belts. Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but its not an unpleasant scent at all! Its not anything shes doing wrong, of course, but the sound makes me nauseated and irrationally angry. Alison gave you the next steps so go from there. It smells like unwashed bodies with bad b.o. If its patchouli in particular that your co-worker is commenting on, is there ANYTHING patchouli-scented in your house or your car that might be getting picked up by your clothes? When my problem first started, I steadfastly blamed the people around me for being inconsiderate and expected them to fix it. The other day, I was waiting for the elevator and he hurried over, asked me to hold the elevator so he could leave too. Oh trust me, I've been trying to get a private office for years. they may be still carrying your scented oil. Oil tends to penetrate and spread, so yeah, maybe its in the clothing permanently. ^^namelesscommentater said what I was thinking.^^. LOL I do admit Ive had that urge. However, consideration goes both ways and it sounds like your coworker is taking this to an extreme. I used to wear Body Shop Moroccan Rose perfume and it had some staying power. I didnt want to go there, but I had that thought too. It is not a matter of simply not liking something. When everything is researched and it ends up being something other than you, shell have to quit harassing you. We didnt know. Its tough to diagnose on your own, Dr. Reisman says. Yep. Stop using the lemon-scented body wash for a few days and see if she keeps making the comments. Its one thing to ask a coworker to stop wearing a strongly smelling perfume, its another to suggest that people need to switch out ALL of their personal care products to accommodate a coworker! (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. Wow. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I dont like using them, because they seem very anti-social, but I will in places I cant get out of and have no chance of controlling like an airplane or in a taxi. The more you use it, the more you want it, but the less effective it is, Dr. Reisman says. As an example, you could say, "I'm very sensitive to odors and I lose my focus at work whenever I smell a burp." Or you could say, "I'm on the phone a lot, and the extra . Virtually all businesses frown upon annoyances as burping and excessive sniffing, as they're breaches of basic workplace etiquette. Dr. Shane Russell-Jenkins answered. It ends up sounding very similar to waves at the ocean, which would also probably work well for . I'm actively looking for a new position elsewhere. to accommodate an employee, but I wouldnt deep-clean my carpets or replace my mattress. I try and blow my nose, and when Im alone in the rest room, I even pick it to try and clear it out. In those cases, if I have to eat around those people, I spend a LOT of time getting up to use the bathroom, flitting around the room to tidy/wash dishes, and otherwise avoiding and noise-covering as covertly as possible until it ends.). But seriously? They should only be sniffing when you give them their release word (like "Break" or "Ok"). Blowing is fine--sniffling is a killer. Also, my perfumes are kept in a closed cedar box that is separate from both my closet and my dresser. If your office is small, and earbuds and relocation are not an option, you should discuss your frustration with your manager, who may or may not bring your coworker into the discussion to explain. Because if it is lingering on a jacket or handbag (or even jewelry), she wont be able to smell it. Its also a scent that has some religious/racial connotations to people. Cant remember what it was, maybe its something I still wear and have just gotten used to it. If you yell at them to run, theyll tell you youre crazy, rude, whatever. Maybe the OP or the manager can talk with the cleaning crew to find out what products they are using to clean the desks, carpets, etc. Not just because it isnt fair to severely limited what people can do on their own time in their own homes but because its impossible to totally eliminate cross-contamination, especially with common fragrances. And then do that, because its reasonable for you not to want to be subjected to this. One of the easiest ways to make someone squirm is to imply that they stink. No one wants to be the smelly guy in the office. Theres a specific inexpensive powder wallgreens sells. You can also suggest an article, book, or other resource on the topic. Years ago, I worked with someone (Ill call her Dolores Umbridge). I live in DC and its more black women here. Ive known people like this who take kindness and consideration as a weakness and will exploit it. Outside of behavioural therapy, I dont know how this could be fixed other than moving the coworkers desk away from the LWs. So why wasnt the smell bothering the coworker before that? And I really hope thats not the cause, but if the OP is a person of color, there is a possibility that this is a contributing factor especially if the coworker is not having issues with anyone elses scent profile. Our nine-year-old son has trouble remembering to chew with his mouth closed. Its also just impossible to guarantee and I know I for one would not want the responsibility of trying to make sure that I hadnt, say, hugged somebody who wore the offending scent, or that I hadnt had some piece of clothing I hadnt washed.also, I live in an apartment where I have to pay to do laundry, and share with others washing every single item of clothing in my house would be extremely prohibitive. Im not, and Ive told her Im not. Either way, the coworker needs to take control of her sensitivity instead of expecting her coworkers to bend over backwards for her. My coworker is constantly coughing and blowing her nose My coworker who I share an office with has been sick for the past month and a half. I explained his cologne was overpowering and offered him the elevator while I would take the stairs. I have a friend who I trade clothes with regularly when we get sick of stuff in our closet and I have to wash the clothes that come from her several times over before I can even stand to wear them, and several times over again before I cant smell it at all. You can tell her, You said the smell was on my purse and now I have a new purse, so I dont think youre being fair. Secondly, this smell process should embarrass her enough to put a lid on the sniffing and the comments. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. Haha, Im not sure if this is a good idea, but I love it. Even if she has legitimate fragrance sensitivities and some people do, although its not clear if thats really whats going on with her or not this isnt the way for her to handle it. Hold a constructive private conversation. Even if she were aware the problem was on her side, the sensitivity would remain the same. To be driven mad by a colleague. So if the co-worker were to have a genuine allergy to patchouli, say, it wouldnt help. Im hoping it doesnt escalate to that point, but Im glad youre out of that situation now! :(, Oh, I totally agree. Had any luck? I dont have any advice, but I am wondering how it is fair or reasonable that the OP should even have to make all of these concessions at her own expense because her coworker wont stop picking on her. I empathize with those who have trouble controlling their sniffles because sometimes even the best, most consistent health care cant turn off the faucets in your face, and no amount of tissues in the world will ever be enoughbut f*ck is that repeated sound awful. Suggest management isolate her if living in the world is too much for her once accommodations have already been made and she wont. putting an end to your runny nose. Exactly. While a coworker may undermine you at work because of any . I think the most you can do is to politely ask someone not to wear a specific perfume that is bothering you, not ask them to buy new toiletries/detergents/do a deep scrub of their clothes(!?). I understand that fragrances can be bothersome (I dont like many of them myself), but the coworker needs to define whether this goes beyond plain bothersome into I-cannot-concentrate territory. What would I have to do then buy all new clothes to eradicate a scent that may or may not exist? If a coworker is constantly complaining about you, keep a record. (Relatively scent-free.) You can put on a puzzled/pitying face and rotate in comments like, Wow, thats rude, and What a strange thing to say.. I feel like it's so rude and inconsiderate of other coworkers. If this is the case and I were the OP, Id be inclined to tell a coworker that Ive done what I can, and unfortunately the scent-sensitive among us have to find a way to deal with the fact that there are unpleasant smells in this world. People smell a certain way. Because unless the company is paying a fortune in extra costs, carpet cleaners are awful for people who are scent reactive. We talked to ear, nose and throat (ENT) physician Tony Reisman, MD, to find out what your sniffles mean and what you can do about them. My girlfriend know about me sniffing her shoes. I was a dingaling. Its so heavily scented (even the I scented version) that it will likely be much much worse. I supervise a manager who falsified an employee write-up but I dont think she should be fired, getting out of shared intern housing, why are so many executives condescending, and more, interviewer fake-rejected me to see if I would fight for the job. . Dont spray too much if you do go looking for it! Youre talking about general, being-in-the-world sounds and scents. Its easy to say to OP to be bold and confront her directly but if youre like me and just dont have that type of personality, sometimes other solutions can be helpful. OP, it could be in coworkers head. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability, and my fight or flight response kicks in. One of the things that sets me off at first is if I can taste the scent, that chemical taste in the back of my throat is an instant major asthma attack. Put a lid on the sniffing and the comments she left right after inappropriate! 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